Pregnancy & Infant Loss: Find Hope & Healing

Hello My Healing Tribe,

October is a month to bring awareness to a multitude of things from Breast Cancer to Intimate Partner Violence and so much more. All are extremely important but, I choose a topic that is very near and dear to my heart, Pregnancy, and Infant Loss Awareness. Many of you may not know but in 2021, I experience the loss of my infant daughter, Emersynn

Emersynn is my first child, my daughter and now angel in Heaven and even though her life was brief it was still purposeful. This loss was extremely difficult and mind boggling to me being that I had a healthy pregnancy and had no reason to have concerns. Even still to this day all autopsies are inclusive, and no medical professionals can determine a cause to death. This irks me as a new mom, experience her first pregnancy I found myself trapped in a cycle of self-blame, guilt, and shame for reason no one could tell me.

As a human being, especially one experiencing loss in any capacity you just want the answer to WHY? You experience so many emotions that are often difficult to navigate and all hitting you at once. On top of dealing with the correspondence of people questions and unintentional reminders, some genuine and others, who knows. Luckily, I was fortunate to have a partner, family, and friends that protected me in my fragile state and provide me unlimited support weather I responded to them or not.

My heart truly goes out to anyone that has share a similar experience and fighting those self-defeating thoughts ruminating in your head. I want you to know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE, Nothing was Your Fault, That Will Always be Your Baby, You Will Always be Their Mommy, and YOU CAN STILL FIND PURPOSE IN LIFE!!!

I am not going to lie and say life gets easier, but you do learn how to cope with it. So, its okay to feel everything you are feeling and never feel like you must explain your situation to anyone. It is your story, your experience, and there is still so much power in you baby name when you are ready.